Your situation is difficult because you don’t even realize you’re screwing up – and I don’t blame you. I realize that academia is a special kind of workplace, with a lot of factors contributing to the problem you have: many labs have a relaxed atmosphere that can mislead people into thinking there is no hierarchy or Being an awesome papa shirt, many rules are unspoken in academia and newbies have to figure them out for themselves, and people who come to academia straight from undergrad have no work experience and therefore no idea of how to comport themselves as professionals rather than kids.
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Honestly, I think that was something I truly messed up all around and your perspective is real and helpful. I pretty much babied her and Being an awesome papa shirt. On my side, I see why I got mad, but you are right about how I conducted myself. I overstepped my rank. When no one would take me, I was so extremely grateful that my boss gave me the opportunity to work in his lab, I promised myself that I would do everything in his power so that he doesn’t have to lift a finger. That was probably a bad road to go down as well, though well intended.