So I started to test out what was actually going on with me, no shrink no mentor no anything but Hairstylistin Haarstudio Frisor Liebe Friseurmeister shirt and just get in a triggering situation and write up what raced through my mind. It was pretty shocking, shame junk from my childhood, absurd expectations sounding almost like…yeah “mother” lol. Not exactly helpful stuff to carry around. So testing boundaries by doing trigger things like I came upon a site and clicked on a “femdom” video, yeah trigger warning, not nice stuff but instead of barfing I watched it and there it was! That super odd energy in her eye as she wrecked a man, and his sycophantic praise, I knew that!
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Without the costume and props and largely without the physical wrecking that was what I grew up with Hairstylistin Haarstudio Frisor Liebe Friseurmeister shirt, some of it what was written in my test notes! I was dumbstruck, bought a few beers watched a few more. I had to know more and found a forum where they hang out, the sycophant’s were pretty sad but sometimes when they described how they felt it was so familiar “clouded mind, no energy, time is slipping by, can’t focus” and on and on. So short on people that can actually answer what’s up with that I figured why not ask them all the questions I was searching for when I was a kid, and all impossible puzzles no shrink would answer. So I told my story, and asked my questions, 12 for the women and 10 for the men. Questions like: