When I sneak out for my mid-morning cigarette I’m dismayed when the elevator stops a couple of I’m A Barber I Don’t Stop When I’m Tird shirt beneath mine. For most of the day you can usually get the elevator from the ground floor up to mine and vice versa without picking up anyone on the way. The doors open to reveal a couple of guys a little ways away from the elevator, chatting about something or other. I’m not really paying attention and wondering if the doors will close and the elevator continue without either of them noticing. One of the guys turns around and lazily heads towards the elevator.
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He looks like a Best Value Steve Carell and he’s dressed like he’s captain of a yacht club or something. Loafers, khaki I’m A Barber I Don’t Stop When I’m Tird shirt , and a fucking blazer. He steps into the elevator and – get this – stands in the fucking doorway as he continues chatting with his mate. I am really not in the fucking mood for Captain Carell keeping me from my cigarette and loudly clear my throat. They both look at me as if to say what’s his problem? Carrell bids his mate goodbye and steps inside the elevator. He’s not wearing a mask. I must have had furrowed brows or something as he nervously chuckles “we were talking about vaccines”. Not really sure how that explains or excuses holding up an elevator so you can continue your dumbass conversation. I can only muster an unenthusiastic “uh huh” in response, as I whip out my phone to emphatically ignore him.