Anyway, I was hanging out with Brad that night, and I’m Just Built Different Shirt, Jenny. She’s not as bad as Brad, but she wears these low-cut blouses and then stares at you like you’re toenail fungus when you look at what she wants you to see. But I was grounded, so what the hell was I supposed to do? Mom had caught me stealing her panties again, and when I blamed my friend Rory, that just made things worse. She got all up in arms, saying “I don’t want you hanging around with that Rory, he’s bad news.” Whatever, Mom. It’s not like we were doing anything perverted with the underwear; they sell for a shit-ton online.
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Fuck that asshole Brad Meyer and his troglodyte band of I’m Just Built Different Shirt. They’re terrible, he’s worse, and the world would be better if it were scrubbed of the presence of that misogynistic piece of manatee diarrhea that 99% of humanity is too blind to see the true nature of. He’s a legendary all-state football player, which is all that matters in the eyes of the typical undeveloped teenage mind and average soulless adult who’s a decade out from the last time they actually dreamed about experiencing their passion.