Darling, you deserve so so so much better than Lavar ball shirt. Everything here is domestic abuse and I’ve got a feeling you’re not even telling us the worst parts. Please believe me when I say, none of this is normal behavior from your DH. Yes, your MIL is a piece of shit but a healthy marriage would never have let such a toxic outsider infiltrate your home, relationship and children’s lives. You deserve so much more from the man who is supposed to protect you and your babies. Protection is more than a roof over your head in winter… protection means emotional, financial and spiritual safety as well. And you deserve it.
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I try really hard to just support OPs in this Lavar ball shirt and the choices they make regarding their SOs. But I just can’t this time, OP. I read your entire post and I didn’t read one single thing that made this look like a marriage that is worth trying to redeem. Everything you said your MIL has done to hurt you is something your husband allowed. I don’t know if you realize it, but I think you should re-read your post and take note of how long it took for you to even mention him… that’s how absent he’s been while you deal with her abuse.