I was in the dance team through primary and Every short girl really needs a tall bestie shirt. It wasn’t a good experience as someone who was on the heavy side. I loved what I did, but I was constantly surrounded by naturally born skinny girls who were beautiful and elegant in everyway imaginable. I just didn’t belong. In primary school, I was snubbed by the team but because I loved to dance, I joined in secondary school just to find out it was exactly the same. I was isolated and miserable. In JC, when I was pondering what I should join for a CCA, a dance senior caught me and suggested I go for the try-outs. I was reluctant but showed up just to give her face. I got in but because I learnt my lesson, I turned down the offer.
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It was too late though. After all those years, my self-esteem and confidence had hit rock bottom. I was still overweight, coupled with my inability to run 2.4km without coming close to the gates of hell, I was so self-conscious and I just wanted to die when we had to do PE. It wasn’t that I didn’t like sports, I like them, but I can’t run/keep my stamina even if my life depended on it. My parents kept reminding me to lose weight lest I couldn’t get a boyfriend and my brother never missed the opportunity to remind that I was a pig. (He eventually stopped, but then again we hardly see each other because of uni.) And Every short girl really needs a tall bestie shirt, the “little pig” nickname in my family wasn’t gone either.
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Unconsciously, I just gave up. I hated myself so much. I felt like I was societal trash and Every short girl really needs a tall bestie shirt and didn’t want to meet people. I wanted to stop eating but my mum forced me to continue taking my regular meals to the point that it was annoying. I resigned to being a ugly, single pig who is disliked by society for the rest of my life. Honestly, I don’t know how I survived through all that (okay, I had a dog which makes things a lot better. RIP little one.) but fast forward and I got a opportunity to head overseas for a period of time. I learnt alot, and amongst all of it, the most important lesson of all.